Fifty shades of disappointment

It’s been almost a month since the release of the most anticipated movie of the year, made after 50 shades hands tiedE.L. James’ BDSM erotic romance with the same name. Judging by the very low rating (4.2 stars) the movie has on IMDB, I assume many of the Fifty Shades fans have been disappointed by the film. I only watched it a few days ago and can only say I gave it a rating of one. The single star is for the soundtrack, which I like. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered even to rate it, although I think the actors did a nice job. It’s simply that, in my opinion, you can’t make a good movie after a book like Fifty Shades of Grey.

My contact with said book was brief, because I couldn’t stomach more than half of it. Still, it did have an impression on me, which I revealed in one of my own books. I’ve been accused that I’m attacking E.L. James in UNABRIDGED but I want to firmly deny that. I have nothing against E.L. James or her writing. I respect everything she has accomplished. What I have a problem with is the mass phenomenon and the values (or lack of) people embrace after reading her books. Since the Fifty Shades trilogy has become a success, people seem to be obsessed with BDSM. Many of them don’t seem to understand that E.L. James doesn’t even promote BDSM. In fact, in her books (which no, I haven’t read), Ana and Christian have mostly ‘vanilla’ sex, and it’s implied numerous times that Christian’s sexual tastes and dominant nature are abnormal. When I searched opinions about this movie on Twitter, the words I encountered the most were ‘abuse’ and ‘billionaire’. In fact, the billionaire factor is all that’s making this story exciting because, since Cinderella, women dream of billionaires (the modern version of Prince Charming) to sweep them off their feet. Then put them in shackles.

I did ask a few people why they embrace such practices, and they said it makes them feel more free and express themselves better in bed. Okay, this might just be too complicated for my brain, because I simply can’t understand how being tied, gagged, spanked and humiliated in any way possible can provoke pleasure to a normal person. But that’s just me. If you’re a BDSM fan, you can stop reading. Or, you might read the next article, just to see if it can shake your convictions through logic arguments.

UnabridgedThis is the article from my Romantic Comedy, UNABRIDGED, which in the book is presented by Angelina along with an illustration named ‘Women versus females’.

Billionaires, BDSM and Blah-blah-blah

It was a popular book about BDSM that started everything. I heard about it from a couple of friends who were head over heels excited about said book, so naturally I was intrigued. First I read the reviews and was even more intrigued by such contradictory opinions. Some said the book was brilliant, others said it was a literary catastrophe. After reading a few pages I was inclined toward the second category, but went on reading, still curious. After another dozen pages or so, I forced myself to read strictly as research, to see what exactly it is about this kind of literature that has inspired a mass phenomenon. With all my good intentions, I stopped about halfway. It was impossible for me to finish the first book of this series, even though I’m a very perseverant person. Not even the holy purpose of research could force my brain to go on absorbing that read.

Why? I asked myself that and plan to make an analysis right here, one that every woman should make. To my astonished amazement, I noted that BDSM-related books have become a trend, one that sells billions of books annually, most of them enjoyed by women.

The first thing that occurred to me during this study is the fight women have carried for thousands of years to be emancipated and considered equals by men. Ever since Eve’s proverbial appearance on Earth, we’ve struggled to be recognized as being as good as men, in every domain known. So why in the world—I wonder—would women enjoy, even want to be submissive to men in any way? When have smart, self-sufficient women, with self-respect, turned into females begging to be dominated in the most absurd ways? When had this regression from women to females taken place, and why? It’s beyond my understanding.

We fought for liberty and emancipation, to have our opinions, votes and rights equal to those of men, to be independent in every way possible. Yet now, in the secret corners of our dirty little minds, we dream of perverted billionaires who want to cuff us, whip us and use us as inflatable dolls? Granted, too many women in our days look like copy-pasted Barbies, pumped and stitched in places one couldn’t imagine, but still . . . If one looks like a doll, it doesn’t mean she has to act like one.

You want to be dominated? That’s just fine. It’s the law of nature. Every woman likes the man to be on top, more often than not. But from this very natural feminine instinct to lowering yourselves to the status of collared submissives, it’s a road of thousands of years of evolution.

Even this word, ‘submissive’, personally gets on my nerves. True, I am a militant feminist and I’m very proud of that. That is what brought us to where we are and that will make women heads of states. Can you imagine a powerful woman, a woman in control who knows she is smart, strong and capable enjoying BDSM?

Can you imagine Cleopatra—one of the most representative female figures in history—with her ass in the air in front of Caesar, getting a whipping or wearing a leash? For Heaven’s sake! If there has been any whipping going on in that royal tangle, I bet she was the one to do it! A woman like that would never dream of being anybody’s submissive. Isn’t that the model we should all follow, instead of the young, stupid, helpless bimbo who actually likes to be bound and trampled by a man?

And how about real men? Yes, we will talk about men too, of course. This is not by any means an exclusive kind of reading. Do you think a real man would feel the need to subject a woman to practice BDSM with him so he’d be able to dominate her? Do you think real men need that kind of sick artifice to feel strong and confident, or to get it up? I don’t. I, like many women my age or older, have grown up with the classical heroes and heroines of Jane Austen, Mary Stewart, Sandra Brown, Jilly Cooper and so on. Can you picture one of the dashing men we all dreamed of putting on a mask and a leather gay-ish outfi, and smacking our asses with a whip? Because I can’t, and honestly I wouldn’t want to. I don’t understand what it is about the so-called ‘art of domination and submission’ that turns on normal people, healthy men and women with healthy fantasies. Now women don’t want to make their own money, they dream of being bought—I mean, swept off their feet—by billionaires who lock them in their castle basements and do shameful things to them. And this is supposed to be erotic?

Every overweight, unkempt housewife dreams about muscled hunks who fuck them blind, instead of dragging their big asses to the gym and making themselves look good for the men they have at home. Fine, they’re no Brad Pitts, I’m sure. But if you’re not an Angelina Jolie, what claims can you have? Instead of reading stupid books and stuff your faces with chocolates, while your men crave other women, you should do something about it! And then, maybe your husbands/boyfriends/lovers will start doing something about their own appearance and attitude. If not, there’s always a better one waiting for the chance to have a great woman at his side.

Today’s culture has degenerated beyond measure. A semi-naked bimbo rubs her crotch while screeching something unintelligible and millions of people go crazy in ecstasy.

This, along with what I was saying above, makes the difference between women and cavewomen, men and cavemen. It’s your choice which side you’d rather be on, but before choosing I felt the obligation to the feminine race to spread some light and thoughts over the world, to make you all see what exactly you like, or think you like, so much.

If you enjoyed this sample, you can try reading the rest of Unabridged on Amazon.

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